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I feel I was called to minister to all those others who have been hurt by groups like the one that forced me to pretend to be ex-gay when in my heart, I knew that God Created me to be gay. First and foremost, queer Christians aren't exactly a massive population. Even when LGBTQ Christians are open to dating outside the limited dating pool of other queer believers, there's the looming prospect of rejection on the basis of faith. Two of the key parts of queer Christian identity — faith and sexuality — are frequently framed as being in opposition to each other, for reasons that aren't entirely unfounded: Spark Network's exclusion of same-sex users is merely one example of churches' longstanding discrimination against LGBTQ people.
That can raise questions — specifically in the not-super-comfortable context of a first date or message on an app — about how queer Christians are able to reconcile their beliefs with their sexuality, according to Philip Graves, a year-old student from Washington state. Graves, who identifies as a pansexual Christian, said he's been rejected on a number of dating apps for reasons having to do with some aspect of his beliefs or sexual fluidity, which can get disparaging fast. While he's found queer-affirming religious communities that encourage him to practice his beliefs without condemnation, he's found himself routinely having to explain how he's bridged the perceived gap between his faith and sexuality.
LGBTQ Christians might know better than anyone that queerness and faithfulness aren't incompatible, but still they're often left straddling two communities that have distinct norms, particularly when it comes to dating. As Lee put it, a gay-friendly app with a hookup-heavy reputation, like Grindr, isn't likely to appeal to, say, a gay Christian guy.
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